Last week my pastor was asked the question "how do people know that God is good in the midst of difficulty" and he answered "when the body of Christ shows up in the midst of your nightmare." These past four weeks I have been overwhelmed by God's goodness. The tenderness in which I have been cared for and loved has brought tears. And God's glory has reigned.

Now, almost a month later I look back. I can still find tears of frustration and disappointment. I still have unanswered questions that hang ominously, but am learning to delight in moments and keep score on a small scale. A nap on the back deck with dad, followed by a dad-cooked meal of ravioli and sharing stories that ignite passion. Bobbing in the lake, with leg covered in plastic and life jacket behind my head. Reading on the couch in the lawn while we waited for new furniture. Watching my dad slowly process and mom hyperventilate with excitement as they learned my sister was pregnant. Sitting with a dear friend, listening to the waves crash upon Vashon's sandy shores. A bible study with my brother. Being carried over a gigantic log to reach perfect spot for fireworks. Freedom to morn my summer with my sister. Rest.

In this season of answered questions and continual change, Romans 12:12 has become my road map. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation and constant in prayer." And so I will rejoice, I will hope, I will practice patience and continue to pray.

I brought my right shoe everywhere I went for the first four days. I was convinced God wanted to display His glory by miraculously healing my ankle. Today, ten days later, I finally threw the shoe to the back of the closet, not in a surrender of hope but a surrender of my plan, for His.

My "ten-day" began with a tenth of second, a mere moment that has replayed over and over in my mind. I heard it break, in a second both my ankle and dreams for the summer cracked, leaving me more than ever aware of my brokenness.

"What the heck, God!" "Are You serious?" "Am I goign to have to wait twenty years hignsight to understand why this happened?" "Lord, I was going to meet You on the moutain tops." I would flip through the pages of my bible, not knowing where to begin. Job offered me company in my questions. Although i found space to struggle in first thirty chapters, like Job my questions of "why" were left unaswered as God responded with the ultimate one-up "Where were you when I laid the fundation fo the earth?" A come-back that would cause a jr high classroom to erupt in "oooo, you got burned!" And I'll admit, God does make a good point. So, at the end of the day I have I ended up just where Job did, throwing in my right shoe and surrendering to God's plan.